who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
