Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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