Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
