dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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