you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
