I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
