Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize