while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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