i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
