Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
