Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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