The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
