I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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