That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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