Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
