Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
