I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
