Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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