I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
