dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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