Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
