Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize