I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
