none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
