OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I still have a little drunk in my system
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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