Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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