is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i need some magic done to my vagina
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
