Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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