Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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