direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
vagina is talking i cant
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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