Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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