Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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