I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
