8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
