Who did Billy Mays play for?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
