Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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