So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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