Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
