I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
