Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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