Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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