Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
