North Korea, Best Korea!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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