I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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