she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
