the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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