the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
