i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
