I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
