Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
