I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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