How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
