you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
