im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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