I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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