problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
