Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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