I wanna passion pit in your ass
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
