Don't make out with my wife yet
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
