in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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