this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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