she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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