so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
