I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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