How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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