I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
