how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
