The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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