Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
